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Halloween Jokes
Skeleton Jokes
Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body
Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit !
Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with.
Q: What type of art do skeletons like?
A: Skull tures
Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?
A: You can't fool me, I can see right through you.
Q: What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
A: I'm bone to be wild!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
A: He had no body to dance with.
Q: What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day?
A: Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
A: Sherlock Bones.
Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton?
A: Napoleon bone-apart
Q: What instrument do skeletons play?
.A: Trom-BONE.
Q: What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs!!!
Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?
A: Because he didn't have the stomach for it!
Q: Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts.
Q: Why are skeletons usually so calm ?
A: Nothing gets under their skin !
Q: Why do skeletons hate winter?
A: Beacuse the cold goes right through them !
Q: Why are graveyards so noisy ?
A: Beacause of all the coffin !
Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party ?
A: He had no body to go with !
Q: What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks ?
A: They had a rattling good time !
Q: Why did the skeleton go to hospital ?
A: To have his ghoul stones removed !
Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain ?
A: He could feel it in his bones !
Q: What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument ?
A: A trom-bone !
Q: How do skeletons call their friends ?
A: On the telebone !
Q: What do you call a skeleton who won't get up in the mornings ?
A: Lazy bones !
Q: What do boney people use to get into their homes ?
A: Skeleton keys !
Q: What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns ?
A: Skint Eastwood !
Q: What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish ?
A: It came back with a skeleton crew !
Q: What do you call a skeleton snake ?
A: A rattler !
Mummy Jokes
Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?
A: To the dead sea
Q: Why was the mummy so tense?
A: He was all wound up.
Q: Why don't mummies take vacations?
A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Q: Why couldnt the mummy come outside?
A: Because he was all wrapped up!
Q: What is a Mummies' favorite type of music?
A: Wrap!!!!!
Q: Why don't mummies take vacations?
.A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Q: What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date ?
A: Any old girl he can dig up !
Q: Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 1000 years ?
A: Because he thought he was old enough to leave home !
Q: Where do mummies go if they want to swim ?
A: The Dead Sea !
Q: Why were ancient Egyptian children confused ?
A: Because their daddies were mummies !
Witch Jokes
Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle!
Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray
Q: How does the witch know what time it is?
A: She looks at her witch-watch.
Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling!
Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A: She witch-hiked!
Q: What does a witch kid want for Christmas?
A: A haunted dollhouse.
Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which!
Q: How do witches tell time?
A: With a witch watch.
Q: What do you call two witches living together?
A: Broom-mates.
Q: What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel?
A: Broom service.
Q: What did one witch say to other when she asked for a lift?
A: "There's always broom for one more."
Q: When do witches cook their victims?
A: On Fry Day.
Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.
Q: What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
A: A brrrooooommmm stick
Q: Who was the most famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes
Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling.
Q: Why does a witch ride a broom?
A:Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.
Q: What do you call a witch's garage?
A:A broom closet.
Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A:She witch-hiked!
Q: What do witches eat at Halloween ? A:Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie !
Q: What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime ?
A:Ghoul deluxe and the three scares !
Q: How does a witch tell the time ?
A:With a witch watch !
Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine ?
A:She wanted a clean sweep !
Q: What do you call two witches that share a room ?
A:Broom mates !
Q: What noise does a witch's breakfast cereal make ?
A:Snap, cackle and pop !
Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A:An itchy witchy !
Q: What's a cold, evil candle called ?
A:The wicked wick of the north !
Q: What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round ?
A:A witch in a revolving door !
Q: What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside ?
A:A witch dressed as a cucumber !
Q: What happens if you see twin witches ?
A:You won't be able to see which witch is witch !
Thank you for the gift Inge
